When you break up or argue with your best friend, it hurts quite a lot but at least family is there to support you and to take care of you. But what if the person is in your own family then it’s more intense.
Rejection, not taking time to know you before scolding, hypercriticizing me, forcing you to be someone against your will…these are all warning signs of a toxic person, and putting it in perspective family member. Because of them, sometimes we become doubtful and fearful for the time they are around. Take my cousin for example, he always likes to scold me on stuff like my clothes, my food intake, and even silly things like constantly having the aircon on. (Dude, hello, it must be so hot. See what i mean?)
Because of him, my feelings wane and around him is always an unpleasant experience. But not always! Don’t judge; he has his good moods too. 🙂 Even my mother, when we joke around about how he likes to get mad about little stuff, saying we’ll call him names like ”ANGre” instead of his real one, suddenly turns it into a life lesson telling me to be careful around him. Remembering the last tantrum he threw (and of all occasions, on my Dad’s birthday!), when his sister wanted to take care of her precious pet, his mom sat sadly talking to my dad saying they should take him to counseling and stuff. Sisters, if you know anyone who does this, DO NOT refuse to do so. Even I go to counseling to help with my strong emotions too.
If it’s possible, move out. Thank God i don’t live with him! But his sister did for a time for she can’t handle the way he disrespects her and hurts her: physically guaranteed. Oh no. Luckily my mom and dad refuse to leave me all alone with him, telling me i should NEVER be alone in his room or in his car. He did something when i was young. But that’s another story.
Set healthy boundaries. Don’t let yourself become a pushover and obey their EVERY command, every way. Or else you will end up spoiling them without knowing. But be polite as well and say hi or answer properly when they talk to you. Mom has been telling me the next time he approaches me, she will say to him, ”Don’t worry, we’re here to tell her what to do.” I just love my momma so muchhh.
Allow yourself to get angry. There are days i have cried due to anger, but mostly it has to do with my other cousin on my mom’s side who sort of has the same problem but cannot deal with it maturely due to him being only 18. But when you cry and vent, make sure it is never for the same reason again. Do something productive like art or exercise.